About Me


Poor Jeremy was unlucky enough to get stuck in an interview with Streaker. It started well, but Streaker just got more and more excited. And here’s what happened…


Streaker: Do you like writing stories?

Jeremy: I think I am very lucky. I wanted to write stories ever since I was about nine. I think it is magical! You can make ANYTHING you like happen when you start writing a story. It’s YOUR story. You have HUGE POWER! You are like the greatest magician ever and your pencil (or pen) is your magic wand. Just write that story and KERPOW! You have made magic. Clever you! (Except you’re a dog and you can’t hold a pencil, can you?)

Streaker: It looks like hard work to me!

Jeremy: Yes, well you can’t even write your name, Streaker. And like I just said, you’re a dog. It would be hard work for you. Sometimes it is hard for me too. I have good days and bad days. But usually I know when the story is coming out well, and if I get stuck and I just wait until I think of a way round the problem. If you’ve got a good story then it is worth telling.

Streaker: What do you do to make story writing easier?

Jeremy: I spend ages just thinking about the main idea. I make little notes. I build up a kind of plan. I work out where I might run into problems. I think a lot about the characters and try to make them really strong. I drink lots of tea. I wander about in a day-dream. I talk about the story with my wife and read them out loud to myself.

Streaker: Where do you work?

Jeremy: I work most of all where you live, Streaker – inside my head! When I am actually writing the story I usually go to my shed-cum-studio at the bottom of the garden. It’s very comfortable, with a big desk, armchair, hi-fi and my very own fridge! I think I spend most of my time staring out of the window. I’m a bit lazy. Sometimes I take my work with me when I go abroad and write then.

Streaker: Why are all your stories funny?

Jeremy: I like writing funny stories. I did try to write a really serious story once but it made me miserable and I started putting in jokes to cheer myself up. Of course in the end it turned into another funny story. I guess I see the funny side of most things. It’s just the way I am.

Streaker: Why do you smell?

Jeremy: Excuse me! You’re the one that smells! You haven’t bathed in a single story I have written about you. I shower EVERY morning and if you can smell me it’s because you have a super-sensitive doggy nose and in any case I am sure I smell of roses. Red ones.

Streaker: Why don’t you like chasing after sticks?

Jeremy: Streaker, I am NOT a dog. You are supposed to be asking me questions about writing!

Streaker: Where do you bury your bones?

Jeremy: I give up. I’m not answering any more of your silly questions.

Streaker: Shall I tell you a joke?

Jeremy: Oh, all right.

Streaker: Knock knock.

Jeremy: Who’s there?

Streaker: Woof.

Jeremy: Woof who?

Streaker: IT’S A DOG, MR STUPIDO! It just went ‘woof’!


At this point, Jeremy really gave up and left the interview!